How sad is it that on World Food Day, the world does not have food? As I found out from the World Food Programme, a child dies of hunger every six seconds, and a billion people–one-sixth of the world’s population–are starving.

When I heard this, my initial reaction was that that’s so sad, that’s awful, I should do something. I wanted to fast, actually, because that seems reasonable to me–no food on World Food Day to honor all the other people who don’t have any. Unfortunately, I have a show tonight, and I wouldn’t be able to dance and sing and emote all at once (or at all) if I didn’t have any food. Mum said I can do it sometime next week.

In biology, we learned that species die out when there aren’t enough resources. The problem with the human species is not that we don’t have enough resources–we have more than enough. They’re just not evenly distributed. The people in America overeat, and the people in Africa have no lunch.

It’s sort of sickening when you think about it, actually. Obesity is a huge problem in America, so why are third-world countries so malnourished?

I don’t mean to be a hypocrite. I eat more than I should myself, in fact. But I want to do something about it. I want to make a difference.

This morning before I left for school, not only did I post about World Food Day on both Twitter and Facebook, but I raised 1430 grains of rice on FreeRice. almost fifteen hundred, BETWEEN FIVE O’CLOCK AND SIX THIRTY, not to mention getting dressed, having breakfast (when I remembered I couldn’t fast before a show), and gathering my school stuff.

I guess all I’m saying is that it doesn’t take very much of your time to help. So honor World Food Day. You’re one of the online billion, so help the hungry billion. Donate if you can (I would if I could), and help out through channels like FreeRice.

Every person counts.

Don’t read this message.
I mean every word.
You said you don’t check
your email anymore, but to be safe
I sent it to your old address
where I know you’ll never see it.
I don’t want you to read these words
and think I mean them
think I’m begging or pleading
I’m not.
Not stupid,
not crying,
not angry,
not hurt.
I’m just sorry
not for all of it
for the things I did wrong
for all the mistakes I made.
I was a brat,
I was a bitch. I know it.
I’d like to say I’ve changed,
like to ask you, please, another chance,
but whatever I say will only pull me
farther from grace, and it won’t
get me anything more than I have.
I wish
(not upon a falling star because
I haven’t seen one recently
will you tell me if you find one?)
that I hadn’t been the way I was.
I wish I could say I’ve changed, I’m better
you were always too good for me
always deserved someone better
but I don’t know if it’s true
don’t know what happened,
don’t know if it was anything
specific or even anything
I did at all, I just know
I took you for granted and
that’s the only thing I regret.
You never told me I was pretty,
or sexy, but I do believe
(have to believe)
you thought I was, once.
Seems like you didn’t care
how much I loved you, maybe,
but maybe you liked me
for my looks, which is a harsh thought
but it’s sort of nice to think I was
good-looking to you, even if that
was all. Maybe it wasn’t.
Is it possible you just
stopped loving me,
not because I messed up,
not because I was such a bitch
even though I was?
would that be better, or worse?
I don’t know. I just know
I loved you then, and I love you now,
but I’m not so sure about in between
because
well
see
it’s like
but I
…
What if I died tomorrow
nothing finished
no one to love
what if a car came up and
SLAM
knocked me off the face of the earth
and I just didn’t exist?
No one would remember me–
my family, my closest friends
but not the world.
Nothing published.
Nothing accomplished.
Nothing special.
If I died tomorrow would you cry for me?
No. Not anymore.
But I just have to say
that maybe I did
take you for granted then
but I would try
(with all my heart)
not to do it again
no more viciousness
smacking you around
no more orders
no servant, no slave
because if I had you back,
if I could undo the past
if I could put things right again
and make you and me
back into us
I would, I really would.
You were poison, you were intoxicating,
you were so there I never though
about when you wouldn’t be
or not enough. I worried
sometimes
but not enough because
suddenly you were gone
and I didn’t know what to do.
I miss you and I feel
more like I’ve lost a friend.
I never cried, you know,
but I’m crying now, because
writing to you, I realized
how much I really did love you.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be good enough,
sorry I never was what you wanted
never could be.
At the dance last night
I danced alone, and I was happy
and then there was a slow dance
and I sat against the wall and
watched everyone, all my friends
dancing slowly
while I sat alone. Just sighed.
So maybe that’s when I realized it.
There’s a guy in Concert,
cute, I like him,
could never talk to him, not in a hundred years.
Stupid crush. He’s probably younger than I am.
Don’t even know his name.
My heart still belongs to you, really
I lost it years ago,
could you give it back if you find it?
But I think I HAVE changed,
I hope I have,
and if you came back,
I wouldn’t be the girl I was,
I wouldn’t tell you what to do,
you wouldn’t have to do a thing
except stand there and be mine,
forever.

Love you
like the moon loves the stars,
like romeo loves juliet
like the beauty loves the beast
like a candle loves a flame
like marlyn loves cailen
(live eve loves cailen too)
like kay loves sander
like rowan loves solin and
like hazel loves remmy
like hannah loves jonathan
…
and
like ira loves jace and
like jace loves ira and
like i loved you and
like you loved me.